Minute by Minute: The Courage to Keep Going

Resilience and Triumph: Fareeda Momin's Inspiring Journey

In this episode of 'Leap 2 Empower,' host Shaila Lalani interviews Fareeda Momin, a woman of resilience and strength, who shares her journey of raising premature twins and building a successful career at MD Anderson Cancer Center. Fareeda discusses the challenges she faced and overcame, from high-risk pregnancy to NICU stays, and how she balanced work and personal life with the support of her family and faith. She also shares valuable life lessons on courage, resilience, and the importance of community support. This inspiring conversation underscores the power of hope, faith, and the relentless pursuit of one’s goals.

01:42 Fareeda's Early Challenges with Twins

04:50 NICU Journey and Overcoming Obstacles

09:17 Support Systems and Work-Life Balance

14:13 Faith and Financial Challenges

21:01 Empowerment and Advice for Women

22:02 Rapid Fire and Closing Thoughts

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If this episode moved you, share it with someone who needs it. And remember your leap doesn’t have to be perfect. It just has to be yours.

Transcript

Shaila 0:00

Hello Leapers and welcome to the new episode of Leap 2 Empower I'm Shaila Lalani, and this podcast is to honor the real life stories of people who dare to leap into the unknown. Today I'm joined by someone who's inspiring, a dear friend whom I've known since childhood Fareeda Momin. Fareeda is a woman of resilience, courage, and quite strength. She became a mother of twins who came early and walked through some of life's toughest chapters with grace. Those tiny babies are now 16 thriving because of a mother who never gave up on them and never gave up on herself. Beyond her role as a mom. Faree da has built an incredible career at MD Anderson Cancer Center, where she has spent almost two decades leading, serving, and empowering others. She's a professional force and personal inspiration. A woman who proves that even in the face of challenge, you can rise, stand tall, and keep leaping forward. Fareeda so excited to have you on the show today. I am so looking forward to our conversation. So let's get started.

Fareeda 1:04

Thank you for having me. It's truly my pleasure and grateful that we are doing this interview and that we're able to serve our community to empower every single person that's out there.

Shaila 1:15

So tell me who is Fareeda?

Fareeda 1:17

Fareeda is me. I also go by Tina as my, some of y'all might know, but Fareeda is a mother of twin daughters, who's gone through a lot in life, but has learned so much to give back to the community and is one of those resilience people that is thriving every single day to make sure that the next day does come and what does the next day hold for me.

Shaila 1:40

Very interesting. Tell us what leaps you had to go through to get to where you are today. We want to know your story.

Fareeda 1:48

Yeah, for sure. The leaps that I've gone through, I think the most challenging through my whole life was my twins. True blessing and truly life lesson learned I remember was when I was pregnant at 13 weeks I found out that I'm gonna have twins. At that time, I was not expecting that or did not like. Just shocked at the doctor's office and my jaw just dropped. So at 13 weeks found out I was having twins, and I know you can't see through this podcast, but I'm 4' 11, I'm a tiny person. As soon as they found out, they transferred me to a high risk doctor. For the high risk doctor, I would have to go every single week to the doctor because of being small and having two babies inside my tummy. So the journey of challenges, the leaping started there and it did not stop there. I had to keep going every single week to the appointment, but it wasn't a normal appointment that every woman would get. Mines was different. I had to get scanned every week. I had to get both of those babies checked with, starting with how their legs are doing and how much growth do they have, what percentile they're in every single week. Every single week, gave blood, got tested, got scanned, and I would leave happily. But one day on my 24th week, that was not a happy moment for me. I was told at that week that I need to get admitted. The very next day the doctor gave me 24 hours, go home, pack your stuff. I will see you tomorrow morning at the hospital. You're getting admitted. So I said wait, time out. You just threw a lot at me. I need to process what you just said. I literally asked the doctor, can you please step outside? I need to process this information. The nurse came in, gave me a water bottle and I was like, what did he just ask me? It was a question of changing life. It was a pivot of my life. Well, that time came and doctor came back of course in five minutes 'cause I'm sure he has other patients to see. And he said, well you need to get admitted because you all three of y'all are at risk, the babies and yourself. So I said, okay, well I'm gonna get admitted. I don't mind. But we're not delivering the babies tomorrow. I said they're barely born. Barely have eyes. Their skin's probably still growing. Their heart is still growing. Their lungs are still developing. That's too much of a risk. So he said, you have another options. This is where you have to trust your gut and ask questions, what are my options? Every single moment you get ask those questions, what is my option? Just ask. That's one thing I tell everybody in that moment. If I didn't ask, I would not be with my twins today. That moment I asked myself. And I asked the doctor, what are my other options? Can I stay in the hospital every single day? You can come check me here and tell me that I can keep my kids longer in my tummy. Let them have them naturally and organically. That moment, the doctor said, yes, you have that option, so let's get you admitted. Go home today, pack your stuff, and come in the next day. So I did the same exact thing, went inside, packed my stuff, went in the hospital the next day, got admitted, and so now we're at 24 weeks still. So every day I would buy time. I would buy a day at a time. 25 weeks went by. 26 weeks went by. 27 weeks was the game changer. That's when the doctor came and said, Hey, one of the babies in the womb is not getting as much blood, so the tube before her is tightened, so she's only getting a drop, a drop. A drop of blood. So therefore the growth has slowed down a lot. So I said, okay, well I bought three weeks. Let's do this. So that was a win-win for me, of course, and it's a win for the doctor, and of course a win for my twins as well. So 27 weeks gave birth. It was a Sunday morning, I remember, and it was also a religious holiday, so I made it a perfect day. And then of course had the C-section took the babies out. But at that moment, when the babies came out, I was not allowed to touch 'em because they were still being developed. The incubator literally came rushing to my bedside, took those babies and put 'em in there, and I asked the doctor. Can I touch them? He said, I prefer you not because they're still developing. No one's allowed to touch 'em. I said, no, this is my option. I would like to just to touch. I said, even if it's on their hand, can I just get that touch? So he let me do that right away. The kids who are taken into nicu to get them stabilized and of course I got stabilized. Within two days I got my stitches and got it removed and here I am leaving the hospital without my kids. If this is not a challenge, this is the life revolving challenge that changed my life. What can I do? I cannot take my babies home because they're both less than a pound, less than a pound. Size of my finger, sizes of my palm, there's no way I can do anything. Well, that's the way life is when they throw you challenges. They're just challenges. But you have to overcome these challenges. You have to say, I can do this. I can thrive sometimes life throws you challenges, and sometimes you can't get through it even day by day, but let's take it hour by hour. Sometimes it's a minute by minute. It depends on the challenges you're going through in life, but we have to stop and look at the options we have at that moment. Of course, I went home, cried like a little baby. Of course I was missing my baby. I felt like something was taken away from me and I had no control over it. But what can I do? At that moment, I prayed. I prayed, and I just kept on telling myself everything will be okay. I told myself every single day, I will be okay. Eventually, I started going to the hospital providing milk for my babies. I would deliver, pump during nighttime. I would pump there, I would stay all day over there. And then after that, of course, my leave was done from MD Anderson. I worked at MD Anderson, and then I had the choice that I could work there as well and then keep providing and going back and forth living in the medical center, which made it a lot easier. I would just take their milk every single day and go do my business. And just do commuting back and forth. Well now it's been a month. My kids are in the nicu. Second month comes along and the doctor says, you can no longer provide milk. They need to gain weight. So at that point, I had the choice. I had the option, I wanted them to gain weight, so I stopped pumping and I started saying, okay, let's go do that. But another mother reached out to me whose child was also in NICU and found out that the doctor asked me to stop pumping. This mother reached out and said, can you please help my child? Like I said, her baby was also in NICU at the same time and needed that milk as the gold milk as we call it. So this is your option as well. Do I wanna stop and just focus on my kids or am I here for the community? How do I empower other womens, or how can I help other people around me that are going through the same thing? But guess what? You have the option of helping. So I took that and then of course helped this other child out as well. That mother would come every single day, pick up the milk and take it to her baby at the NICU as well. That went on and then of three months we crossed that bridge. Now it's four months. It's time for the kids to come home. So it took 'em four months to go through that and now it's time for them to come home. I think that is the biggest challenge that I've had in life and a lot of learning opportunities of seeing what is life and what can I do, and what options I have in life.

Shaila 9:08

Your message has been profound. I have goosebumps the whole time that I've been hearing you. You've definitely been through a lot. Did you have any support along the way? How did you get up every morning and have the courage to face life when you were going through that?

Fareeda 9:25

I think when you have the best family, and yes, I'm saying that I have the best family, my sisters, my brother-in-law, my parents, every one of them have been there for me. I could not have done it without my sisters. They're like the backbone of my entire body of from head to toe. I could not tell you they have been there thick and thin. What do you need? What can you help me with? I think as a woman or as being a person that support your emotional support. Your personal support, even your financial support sometimes is there and I love them dearly.

Shaila 9:59

Great to have that support system. I'm sure you're grateful and blessed to have that. And so you mentioned that you were working. How did you manage work life balance during this challenging time? And how did you get into MD Anderson and how did that leap go for you?

Fareeda 10:14

Yeah, so my undergrad is in HR and IT, and I graduated from University of Arkansas And then I started working at my master's at U of H in Sugarland. At that point I saw a job opening at MD Anderson, I applied, for the position and now 20 years later, I'm still working at MD Anderson and I'm working as a leader as serving over 27,000 employees. And my strategy is about recognition and the work-life support. So that kind of goes into that work-life support. What I need at 20 years now I'm providing to the employees, paying it forward to them and saying what family support programs are there, how do we recognize each other? How we're grateful for the doctors, for the nurses that are out there? And having that flexibility at my work during the challenging time of having the twins. And going back and forth in the medical center made it a lot easier because my kids were at Texas Children's Hospital and MD Anderson's right there, literally the backyard of medical Center so it was easier for me to just to travel and just stay there all day.

Shaila 11:10

You're a woman of just resilience and power. That's amazing. How was that day when you brought them home and how did that leap go to where they're 16 now.

Fareeda 11:21

Yes. That is amazing. Even to know the fact that there's 16. That day when they said the kids are going home. I asked the doctor, am I taking both of them together? Do you expect me to take two NICU babies home the same day? And they said no. So how it happens is that you get to take one baby home on a Friday. You go through the weekend and you get the next baby on Monday. So you kind of have to settle in. Well, they just didn't come home in a normal state. They came home with a heart monitor, both of them. So with the heart monitor as a being a NICU baby, these kids would fall asleep and don't realize they're not breathing. So with the heart monitor, it will alert the entire street, I feel like. But it would beep so hard that the baby has stopped breathing, that you have to get up and wake 'em up. And it's not just a tap on their face. You have to hit 'em hard wake up like a slap on their face. Or on their legs and stuff and wake 'em up for their breathing. So it was tough getting to learn to do the heart monitor. I had to learn how to operate that machine. I had to call my energy bill and say, Hey, I have a heart monitor, so in case I lose light, I wanna be on their priority list. So not did it just come with. I need to do this, I need to do this, but thinking outside the box, thinking I need to get the external environment ready while I'm still getting the internal environment ready. So it was one of those things, and of course I made it, first baby came home on Friday. It was Isha that came home and Aisha came home that Monday and we eased right into it. And family support, I am telling you, is the best thing ever.

Shaila 12:52

Amazing. Tina. I don't even have words to tell you how awesome you are. So then how did you then manage work life balance because now you had two babies plus a job.

Fareeda 13:03

That is true. I did have the two babies when they came home. I took the rest of my FML, when they were born. So I was able to spend time with them in the beginning as well. Get to connect with them and, this is my finally happy moment, living in that moment, and thriving in that moment too. Getting everything done and making sure that I'm there for them. And the heart monitor was very stressful, throughout the time. Then of course my FML leave was done, so I had to find other options at that time. So hired a nanny, come help us and she was a godsend blessing, a true godsend blessing. And I would work from home even during that time, which was 16 years ago working from home was like not even an option. Now after COVID is such a big option, but at that time I was blessed, thanks to MD Anderson for letting me work from home at that time. And I would get to spend time with them as well. So I had set up an office there and then the nanny would take care of them. She treated them just like her kids. She got on the bandwagon of this heart monitor and knew how to do everything and how to feed them. So it was just amazing and just perfect timing. When God sends you angels, he sends you the right angels and when you need them the most.

Shaila 14:13

Oh, speaking of God, how did faith play a role in this?

Fareeda 14:17

God and faith were definitely my right wing, I think. Also during this time when I was pregnant, I was also serving as a leadership position, at my mosque. And, at that time when, that first day when the doctor told me I need to go pack my stuff that night I prayed and I said, do your thing. Do what you need to do what is the best thing? But throughout faith, throughout the leadership roles I played it's truly paying it forward to my kids. I feel like the revolving is there, I give and that God gives you back, but it gives it to your kids so that way they can keep leaping forward and paying it forward as well.

Shaila 14:54

So how did you manage financial support here? How did financial empowerment play a role here and how did you manage that?

Fareeda 15:03

Well, I'll tell you, my insurance did not like me because the fact is that my kids were in NICU for four months, but also Aisha on the second day she was born, needed a heart surgery. The heart surgery costed a lot of money for a NICU baby. And even babies being delivered. They're not cheap. But now having a heart surgery, watching these kids in NICU and getting all of their medicine, and all of that, the incubator and there's so much that stuff that goes through there. I will tell you that my insurance bill were about $2 million for each child. So I'm telling you my insurance probably doesn't like me, but. I'm truly blessed, truly blessed for getting that paid. And then it played a big role, but it was the copay that I just had to pay, but it's truly eye-opening to see how much medical cost, and this was 16 years ago, so I can't even imagine now living in 2025 what that bill would look like.

Shaila 15:57

But how did financial empowerment in general raising babies or having a family play a role in your life?

Fareeda 16:03

Well, I had to pay double for everything. Even when I go through Chick-fil-A line, I have to get two kids' meal versus one kid's meal. Everything was doubled, but in the diapers were double getting any milk supplies was double. But it's also double the fun. When we look at financial, it's truly a financial burden, but the family's there to help you out when I need a financial help. But also my work played a big role. I was also a career progressing in my career as well. Right now, I am going through the Coach Rice program as well, and it's through the Leadership Institute of MD Anderson that I can do that, I'm also still growing myself, so financially I just didn't stop there. I continued my professional growth as well as my personal growth with the kids.

Shaila 16:46

Wow. Your kids are very lucky to have you as their mom and not just that you were doing everything you could to foster your kids and also to grow yourself to ensure that they are taken care of from a financial standpoint. That's a lot on your shoulders. I don't know how you're standing right now. Yeah. So I like to ask this question to everybody. If money came knocking on your door, what would you say?

Fareeda 17:10

I would say it's about time you showed up. No, I think I would be grateful. I think that living in a grateful and I've been raised in a way to be grateful for everything. If that money knocked on my door, I would accept it, of course, but I would also share with my family, that have been there for me, providing that financial support. As a single mom, it comes very difficult to be at a state of, thinking about finance, but when your family's there, I would definitely share that wealth with my family and also the community as well.

Shaila 17:40

Oh, that's great. And so what keeps you grounded, especially when you have to leap through all these challenges?

Fareeda 17:46

I think always self-questioning your options, not always thinking one way. And it's like I said, not always thinking, what's gonna hold tomorrow? Let's take it sometimes hour by hour, take it minute and by minute sometimes you just have to pause and breathe. Those are the grounding rules that I have for myself, like I look at the options and I smile, and I'm very on my personality, on a positive side, on my real colors. I'm a blue, so that goes hand in hand for me, and it plays a bigger role for me because it's how I react, how I challenge myself, and how I present myself on a daily basis that is still the same from 20 years ago or even 20 years going forward. Am I still the same person? Am I still thriving today? Do I still have that resilience that I had? Do I have that resilience tomorrow? That's what makes me going.

Shaila 18:35

So how did you find courage when you were going through this to when life got heavy? What gave you that courage?

Fareeda 18:42

I would definitely say family and God. They made sure that sometimes I would get emotional and some days I would just cry it out. But guess what? Who woke up stronger? It was me who woke up stronger with me. My family. To have that, your emotional intelligence going through that, but you have to tap into yourself and say, I am here. What can I do? What are my options?

Shaila 19:04

hearing your story, you go girl. Alright. What legacy do you wanna leave for your kids?

Fareeda 19:10

I think for the legacy for my kids or anybody, I question myself when I die, what do I want people to say about me? If I'm dying, what would they say? And also what would they think about me? But sometimes I tell myself, does it really matter what people think and does it really matter what they wanna say? What matters to me is what I wanna say to myself when I'm dying. Have I done everything right in my control? Were there things that I could have done differently? So I say the legacy is actually my legacy. I survived, I thrived, and here I am to my next chapter in my life.

Shaila 19:46

That is amazing. I do wanna ask you have you told this to your kids? And how do they feel? What is their reaction

Fareeda 19:54

My kids know the story of the NICU and how they've been through it and the other challenges in their life that they faced as well too. It's just not nicu, but some personal challenges I've been through with my marriage. They've been through their. They've learned so much, but guess what? They're the ones that are thriving more than I am because they've seen that at a young age, they wanna be the ones that say, mom, I wanna make that impact for someone else. I wanna make sure that I'm impactful for you and I'm grateful for you They count their blessings every single day for what they've seen and what the future holds for them. Sometimes they'll come home and say, say, oh mom, I wanna do this. I wanna do this when I get a house. I want you to live with me. You'll have your own area. I will make you travel most of the time. And it's just one of those things they're thinking about the future, and making sure that they have the resources, and that's the potential I wanna see in them.

Shaila 20:43

Like you said they are trying to pay it forward and they've seen how strong and powerful and how much you've dedicated your life towards their betterment, and now it's so nice to see that they recognize that and are aware of that. I'm sure you are very proud of that. Yeah, for sure. If there's a woman who is at the edge of taking her leap what advice would you give her?

Fareeda 21:06

I would help them and say, just ask your questions. Check your options. Check what you have control, and don't think about what is gonna happen tomorrow? What are you doing right now? Check your minute by minute, check your hour by hour. What controls do you have? What is it gonna play out? But what is it gonna do to you? You know how we ask everybody when we greet people, the first question we ask is, how you doing? But the question real is, how am I doing? Why aren't we checking with ourselves instead of greeting that person and saying, how are you doing? What about yourself? How are you doing at that moment? Do an internal check. I know sometimes we talk to ourselves, but it's not out loud. The advice that I would have is talk out loud. Just talk to yourself and say, how am I doing? What can I do? And people might think you're crazy because you're talking out loud to yourself, but you can do it mentally, but it's more powerful when you say those words. Check in with yourself.

Shaila 21:59

You been through so much. You are a definition of resilience. Now I'd like to move into what I call soul sparks, which is a rapid fire round. What does empowerment mean to you?

Fareeda 22:10

Empowerment to me is giving someone else that power that you have, making sure that they have the tools and resources or even just comfort or even phone calls that is empowering them to make that decision.

Shaila 22:22

Coffee or chai?

Fareeda 22:24

Chai. With Parley G.

Shaila 22:25

What's the best advice your kids have ever given to you?

Fareeda 22:28

Well, that's a challenging question. This might not be a rapid fire. Well, I was in a personal situation where my kids are the ones that advised me to leave the situation and leave the area and told me that I can do better. So my kids have given me feedback, but you know, this is the two way family support we have where the kids are welcomed to give you feedback even though they're young. They're 14, they're 15, they're 16. Trust them. They're saying it for your good, too.

Shaila 22:54

Beautiful. If your life was a book, what would the title be?

Fareeda 22:58

It would be resilience and still Thriving.

Shaila 23:00

If your twins could describe you in one word, what do you hope it would be?

Fareeda 23:05

Positivity.

Shaila 23:06

What advice would you give to a woman who feels like they're carrying the weight of the world alone?

Fareeda 23:10

If you feel like that advice I have is look around you. There's people that are struggling in that same boat. Everything that you see on the screen is not the same. Everything that you hear about he said, she said, could not be true. So check in with yourself. Ask yourself how you're doing, but also look around you and looking at what resources do you have, which friends do you have? So the advice I would give is basically look around you and ask yourself too, what can I do in this matter?

Shaila 23:38

One bold thought you want to leave our listeners with

Fareeda 23:41

Keep going. Don't stop here. 'cause life is beautiful.

Shaila 23:44

Tina, thank you so much for joining us on the show today. It was truly a pleasure to hear your story, and I hope there are many people out there who can hear this today and truly take this in and empower themselves. Thank you for joining.

Fareeda 24:00

Thank you. And thank you so much for having me. It means a lot, and I appreciate what you're doing as well. Empowering womens out there and empowering the world. Everyone's a story at a time, but everyone has their own story too.

Shaila 24:11

Thank you so much. Fareeda's story reminds us that even in the hardest chapters, we have the power to choose hope, to ask questions, and to keep leaping towards what's possible. Life may not always go as planned, but it can still be beautiful. If the conversation touched your heart, share it with someone who needs to keep going. If this conversation sparked something in you, share it with someone who needs it. And remember, your leap doesn't have to be perfect. It has to be yours. Your story is the light someone else is waiting for. Until next time, keep leaping. Keep believing in your magic.